Warnings: Sex with a minor! Look out!!!!! Oh- and naughty language.
Prompt: Requested by hildigunnur - I'll be fine with number of scenarios (usage of a time-turner, Alive!Sirius etc.) though my specific bunny calls out for it to happen during the summer of OotP at Grimmauld Place 12.
A/N: My first time writing Sirius in a main role- I hope it works for you ^^; A broken laptop and Hogsmeade weekend over at H_E set me back a bit, so I'm sorry for the delay *ducks rocks*
Pining for Another
Ron sat down heavily. “This sucks.”
Hermione looked over the top of her book and eyed him critically.
“You know what Dumbledore said. It’s for Harry’s own good that he stay with the Dursleys, and if we tried to write –”
“I know – I know, Hermione. Our letters could ‘fall into enemy hands.’”
“Try be more serious, Ron. This is the beginning of a war, after all. Just because Harry might be unhappy –”
“Might be unhappy? What do you mean might? Those people treat him like an animal, Hermione! You should have seen the bars –”
“What are you two fighting about now?” Sirius teased, coming into the den and flopping down on the couch next to Ron.
“Nothing,” Ron mumbled, crossing his arms and glaring at Hermione.
“Oh, honestly!” she exclaimed, standing up and gathering her books swiftly. “I’ll leave you to sulk in peace, Ronald.”
Ron muttered under his breath as she left the room, and Sirius watched the scowl harden on Ron’s face in amusement. “Trouble with your ‘young lady friend,’ Ron?” he teased, elbowing him in the ribs and causing him to scowl harder.
“Leave off, Sirius.”
“Sleeping in the doghouse tonight? Going without for –”
“Not bloody likely!” he spat, inching towards the opposite end of the couch.
“Really? From over here it looked like that was quite –”
“No, there’s trouble alright – it’s just not bloody likely that she’s my ‘lady’!”
Sirius grinned unrepentantly and Ron glared at him, irked by how close he was getting.
Sirius leaned in closer to him, ignoring the way that Ron leaned away from him with an irritated glower on his face. “Really? And why would that be? I thought that you two –”
“We’re not an item! Why doesn’t everyone just let –”
“And why not, ickle-Ronnikens? Too shy to –”
“Because I like blokes, alright?!” Ron finally exploded, causing Sirius to jerk away from him in surprise.
“Geez, Ron. I’m sorry – didn’t know…”
Ron’s face, previously a flushed and angry red, drained of all color in an instant. “Oh bloody hell. I didn’t mean – I’d appreciate if you didn’t, you know, tell anyone about that,” he stammered, eyes wild. “I haven’t quite… I mean, after the Yule Ball, I – I mean…”
Sirius seemed to have recovered some and was eyeing Ron speculatively. “No need to be so embarrassed, mate. I’ve done my share of experimenting after all. Have you ever thought of Harry –”
Ron’s face flushed red and he stood abruptly. “Right. Catch you later, then,” he squeaked, voice cracking embarrassingly. With one last look of horror, he turned and fled.
Sirius watched him go, a thoughtful expression on his face.
Ron stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep. He could swear that he heard the grandfather clock ticking in the hall, despite it being three floors down and on the other side of the house.
He ground his teeth together in agony. It was either that, or screaming. He didn’t fancy the whole house suddenly Apparating into his room in a blind panic, so he ground his teeth instead. He could feel each individual tooth in his mouth.
He couldn’t believe he’d let slip his darkest secret to Sirius Black of all people. He was going crazy, he knew he was. He could feel the enamel eroding from his teeth. He groaned and turned over to bury his face in his pillow.
Sirius would tell Harry, and then Harry would never want to speak to him again, he was sure of it. All the times they’d changed in the same room, all the times they’d showered together in the Quidditch locker rooms and dorm showers… Ron burrowed deeper into his pillow. He hadn’t realized his feelings until after the Yule Ball debacle. The way he’d looked in that robe, and the way he’d spurned the girls with him, content to sit at his side the whole night despite the dismal state of his hand-me-down, centuries-old robes. Warmth sparked in his chest and he sighed. Not to mention the way he’d felt when Harry had saved him from the mermaids during the Second Task. He’d been the one thing that Harry would sorely miss – would miss most – and the hope that that one admission caused to flower in his chest was most certainly and in all probability unfounded.
He sighed again, and then resisted the urge to get up and bang his head against the wall. Sure, he hadn’t known how he felt for long (only 6 months… his mind whispered traitorously), but he still hadn’t stopped showering at the same time as Harry, even though he was gay and well… checking his body out quite a bit.
Oh Merlin, Harry would think he was a pervert! He was a pervert! He groaned again, but not loudly enough to miss the sound of his bedroom door creaking open.
“Hullo?” he whispered, heart already pounding in his chest. “Who’s there?” he sat up and squinted into the dark, wishing for his wand.
“It’s me, Sirius. Can I –”
Ron paled and clutched the bedsheets to his bare chest. “Wh-what are you doing here?”
Sirius didn’t answer, just slipped into his room and let the door snick closed behind him.
“Sirius, I… about earlier –”
“Shhh! I don’t want anyone to know I’m in here,” Sirius whispered, face still shrouded in darkness.
“And why the hell not?” Ron asked warily, bedsheets in a firm grip.
Sirius stepped forward and into the dim light spilling in from the window, his black eyes shining with uncertainty. Ron tried not to gasp at the sight of him. He was so… beautiful, for lack of a better word. He was wearing flannel pants, but his chest and feet were bare. Ron stared at his skin; it was so pale and hairless that it practically gleamed in the moonlight. His hair, so dark in contrast, spilled down across his shoulders in waves of midnight black. He was sure that if he touched it, it would be as soft as silk.
“I wanted to talk to you,” Sirius whispered, snapping Ron out of his reverie. Had he just been checking out Sirius Black?! Harry’s godfather, of all people? Merlin, he really was going mad.
“Couldn’t it have waited until morning? I was trying to sleep.”
Sirius stepped forward and sat on the edge of Ron’s bed. Ron fought the urge to flinch away. “I wanted to talk to you about – about what you told me earlier today.”
“I’d rather not, if it’s all the same to you,” he murmured uncomfortably, looking down at the bedsheets still clutched in his hands. He could feel Sirius’ searching gaze on him, and that only made him more uncomfortable. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell Harry –”
“Why not?” Sirius interrupted. “Afraid that he’ll reject you?”
Ron’s head snapped up and he glared at Sirius fiercely. “It’s none of your sodding business!”
Sirius sighed, letting his own eyes drop to the bedsheets. “Sorry about that, Ron. I know it’s not… I just –” He ran a hand through his hair, tangling his fingers in the long, dark locks. “I know – I know how you feel. Thought I could offer some support or… or something,” he finished lamely. When Ron didn’t answer, he sighed. “Right. I’ll just go then –”
“Wait! What do you mean, you know how I feel? Did you –”
Sirius shook his head and threaded his fingers into his hair again, tangling the strands even more. “I must be going bloody crazy in this house. Locked up here, unable to do anything, it’s enough to make any bloke go mad! Listening to my mum rant and rave every time I pass her in the hall, I –”
“Sirius,” Ron interjected, laying a hand on the older man’s shoulder, “what did you mean earlier? About knowing –”
Sirius looked up at him then, his black eyes shining with emotion. “I know what it’s like,” he answered simply. His eyes shifted to look past Ron’s shoulder, focusing on a spot off in the distance. “I know what it’s like to want something – someone – you can’t have.”
“Really?” Ron asked breathlessly. “Who was it?”
“James was… he was so handsome, you know? Perfect. No matter how many people I was with, I could never forget his face. That smile… Lily, though – Lily was the only person for him.” He smiled bitterly and Ron shivered. “I had my time with him: all those years in the boy’s dorm. But when it came time to move on, he did. With Lily.”
Ron found himself touching Sirius’ back now, offering him what comfort he could. His hand moved in soothing circles and all the whole time he was thinking: Will this be me in 20 years? Still lonely and lusting after someone I can’t have? Loving someone who could never love me back?
“But maybe – maybe you have a chance, Ron.”
Ron’s hand stilled. “Really? You think?”
“I haven’t heard anything about girls from him, have you?”
The surreal nature of this conversation was beginning to get to Ron. “Well, he had a crush on Cho…”
“Quidditch player, right? I remember him saying something about her being a good flyer.”
“Yeah,” Ron mumbled dejectedly.
“But nothing happened, right?”
“Well, no… she ended up going to the Yule Ball with C-Cedric, and he –”
“Well – maybe he just admires her for her athleticism, which is a pretty masculine quality. Has he ever mentioned checking out any girls? Talked about their breasts or legs or as–”
“No! Harry would never say anything like that! He’s not –”
“Well then, you do have a chance! Don’t get too down on yourself yet. All you have to do is give Harry a kiss or two – you know, to feel him out – and then if –”
“But what?” Sirius asked, leaning closer to him. Ron realized belatedly that the sheet he’d been holding had dropped, baring his chest to the cold night air.
He gulped. “I d-don’t know what I’m doing with another guy. What if he wants to do something and I… mess it up?”
Sirius leaned closer. “I could… show you what to do,” he whispered.
His lips barely grazed Ron’s and he breathed out shakily. “That – that might be…”
Sirius kissed him. Ron gasped in surprise and Sirius plunged his tongue into his mouth. It was warm and soft and so perfect that Ron couldn’t help but groan in response, pressing his own tongue forward and tangling it with the other man’s. His head was spinning so much that he hardly noticed Sirius’ hand on his shoulder as it pushed him back into the mattress, intent as he was on the lips and tongue working on his mouth. Still caught up in the kiss, he yelped when Sirius’ body moved on top of his. He wasn’t – wasn’t ready for this! He almost cried out for Sirius to stop, until their bare chests pressed together and something ignited in Ron’s belly. He sighed as the older man’s warmth spread to him and finally relaxed into the kiss.
It was so perfect snogging another bloke. Sirius had a strong jaw, covered in stubble, and his kiss was commanding. After snogging for a few minutes, Sirius broke away from Ron’s lips and looked down into face. Ron whined in protest.
“Do you want… this?” he whispered, barely daring to finish his sentence. Ron turned red and Sirius buried his face in the younger man’s neck, only to be shocked by the lack of stubble on his throat. “Sweet Merlin, you’re just a boy. I don’t know what I’m –”
“N-no! Don’t stop!” Ron stammered. “I want this – I want you, Sirius.” Sirius let out a rattling sigh and moved against him. Ron yelped as their erections slid together, amazed at how much of Sirius he could feel through the many layers between them.
“You're just a – just a boy,” he panted.
“No I’m not!” Ron exclaimed, moving his hips and rubbing up against him, meeting his shallow thrust.
It was Sirius’ turn to gasp. “Oh Merlin, Ron! I – I don’t know if this is a good –”
“Please, Sirius. Please… show me what I need to do.”
Ron’s desperate words echoed in the small room, and Sirius’ cock throbbed in response. It had been so long since he’d been with somebody – and he was just helping the boy… “Al-alright,” he whispered, beginning to frot against him once again.
Ron whimpered and thrust up against him, and their cocks rubbed together as they moved. Ron had never felt so wonderful in his entire life.
“I – I…”
“No – not yet,” Sirius whispered, lifting himself off of Ron’s body and putting a stop to the wonderful feelings pooling in his gut.
“Oh sweet Merlin, why?” Ron groaned in agony. His cock felt like it was on fire, and if Sirius didn’t do something about it soon, he was going to have to take himself in hand.
“It’s – it’s been so long for me. I don’t think I can… last much longer. Maybe we should take a break? I want to show you –”
Ron blushed again. He hadn’t exactly been worried about ‘lasting,’ himself. In fact… “Some other time, then,” he interrupted gruffly, pushing aside his embarrassment. “Just – finish it now. Please.” Sirius’ look of surprise was almost enough to make him call it off. But not enough.
He knew he was thinking with his cock, but as he lay back in his bed – hard and aching – as Sirius undressed him carefully, as he pulled off his own pants and let Ron feel him – hold him in his hand – as he prepared him slowly, lovingly, showing him how to take care of a lover, Ron decided that he could care less.
When Sirius finally pushed himself inside Ron’s body, his face was flushed with arousal. Ron looked up at him with something akin to awe, moaning softly as his cock filled him.
“Fuck, Ron,” he groaned, breathing harshly and letting his long hair swing down in Ron’s face. The way his eyes were clouded with lust made Ron’s cock twitch in anticipation.
Gathering his courage, he looked up into those dark and hazy eyes. “Fuck me,” he whispered. "Fuck me hard."
Sirius didn’t disappoint.